Honestly, I don’t want to get into conspiracy theories, but it’s hard not to when troll trash keeps getting in the black.

you gotta have sex with Billy Bob Thorton (Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball) and pretend to enjoy it.

I started writing a political history column over at DeadSplinter, which I’m pretty excited about, but it’s in no way as groundbreaking as Billy Porter on the cover of Allure. Between his attitude and his fashion sense, he is the epitome of fierce, and I love it. It’s inspiring as hell!

I’ve now fallen down a rabbit hole about Trump’s pupils. I mean, I used to do a lot of E back in the 90s, so the moment I see the pics it’s pretty obvious to me that, yeah, he’s altered, but I don’t think I ever looked at his pupils that closely before. Damn.

It definitely won’t be the same without Trebek. I hope he and Lewis are both able to beat their cancers and have some peaceful retirement ahead of them. Rep. Lewis in particular has earned the hell out of it.

I didn’t see that—thank you! I love puffins; they’re so ridiculously cute! A friend of mine got the chance to have a one-on-one meeting with a puffin last year, and she said it was one of the coolest experiences.

When even a Royal has more sack...

That must’ve been scary as hell. I’m sorry that happened to you.

Yup. Even a good apple eventually spoils if you leave it with bad ones long enough.

Tacky-ass piece of trash. Big talk from a guy who’d probably claim bone spurs, just like daddy.

If I could put the Chrissy Teigen yikes gif on a billboard, it _might_ be big enough. Yikes, Chet. Yikes.

Give me a fucking break. I’ve had friends pulled over and detained for hours because they weren’t white cis folks. 

I feel like that about my hometown. There are worse places, but it wasn’t the right place for me.

If you have to explain the joke, then it probably wasn’t funny.

Don’t be disingenuous. You know it’s not safe at the border.

I grew up on Terry Jones’ fairytales. He really was brilliant. If you haven’t read them, find a copy. Even as an adult, they’re fantastic. 

Orrrr...maybe Ricky’s just a turdburglar who needs to stop punching down, forever.

I don’t really want to travel into the US while Trump is in power, and also I’m willing to bet Idaho doesn’t have puffins. I really want to see puffins. Though now I’m curious, what’s there to do in Boise?

I’d like to take my vagina on vacation. I mean, I kind of have to go with, so it’s a win-win. I’m thinking Iceland. Give the ol’ girl a good soak in a hot spring, cross at least two items off the GOOP list.

Seventeen, and he died by suicide? Poor baby. He had his whole life ahead of him. He must've been hurting so badly. A relative of mine took his life recently, and it is so hard to pick up the pieces for those of us left behind. I can't imagine how much harder it will be for the loved ones of someone so young. My heart…