…….I can’t tell if the breath got her first, or the extreme sudden close-up of his “face”, but her body spasmed right on out of there.....

…..meh...9 inches goes a looooooong way.....I should know

….Good Evening to my #JezBitches from cloudy and windy Fort Myers (SW) FL, local time 8:50 pm Saturday, where @HurricaneDorian is scheduled to #MISS us in 24 hours....and, yet, the winds are really picking up....being a Carolina Boy, and someone who didn’t evacuate the #FrenchQuarter during Andrew in ‘92, I’ve been…

…...without ever having read deadspin and, yet, as a gay dude, I can GUARANTEE you that the kind of guys who write for deadspin, max out at 5.5 and say things like, “#GirthCounts”...…..

…….it also, once again, overlooks that significant chunk of gay dudes like me who have zero interest in pitching or catching.....*pause while #SocietyScratchesItsHead*…...the fact that this question is inevitable is such a mirror on group assumption...... 

......which, ummm, in Tiff’s case looks more like the competing genes got into a Blood Feud and resulted in a #ProlapsedTrumpFace......

meh....it’s the Shallow Hal Diet: I know others see me this way, so it is...….

.......ummm.....I believe my prolapsed nation is hanging out.....

.....LMFAO.......................

……(Pssst!...….I believe the interest lies in the morbid fascination/incredulity that Travolta was able to engage in the physical mechanics required to produce said daughter [you know...with a …..woman....eech!])…...also: Will the daughter also be required to #PolishHerPate?.....#Randilynn wants to know...….

…….you’d think that, with the destruction of our world going on around me, I’d be occupied with other matters, BUT, I’ve been praying for a while now that this particular feud would reignite...…#ItGivesMeLife......Martha, being an #OLD (like me) has ZERO fucks to give (“I’ve done prison time, ‘Gwynnie’—Come at me!”),…

lol.....touche.....(and, yes, the accent aigu is there over the ‘e’, it’s just not visible at this reading)......

……..I imagine all the gurls and guys who’ve done Andy would offer the same excuse, “I just HAD TO KNOW WHAT ROYAL DICK LOOKS LIKE?”.....lol....#Spoiler Alert: it looks like every other filthy, uncut British cock...

...... “A Hero is any man who does John Mulaney”......

…...my own “Ummmm......” about the whole bribed-into-elite-college affair is that, after centuries of this (or at least since elite schools have existed), THIS is who you’re going after?.....Really?.....I say this as someone who lucked into two good schools....but then I was poor....and, then again, I AM…

lol.....you should do stand-up.....lmao.....lol.....

....cuz then we’re too busy to, you know, rebel......

......lol.......Millions of Americans currently scamming Disability agree with you vehemently.....

…..his point is that Puerto Ricans are brown.....

…..I’d like to see Brett Kavanaugh give David Schwimmer a blowjob.....