2:24?!

Two hours twenty-four minutes? So cool!!! That’s even faster than the under-three-hours marathon that Paul Ryan PRETENDED to run! And almost half of his actual marathon time!

She finished the marathon in two hours and 24 minutes.

According to science, this is what their baby would look like:

This is great news, as real Leo has been un-crushable for several years now.

He looks like you mixed Leonardo DiCaprio with a little splash of Matt Damon.

Holy shit.

Every time I hear Jimmy Fallon’s name I remember a story that a friend shared awhile back. While in college, she was the point person for an event on campus that involved Jimmy Fallon. She said he was a nice enough guy but that he was a hot mess. Started off fine and as the day/night wore on, he was all over the place…

I splashed fireball in my eyeball with my contacts in last night, I am almost to Jimmy status....

I did a pop-up wedding in Chicago and it was lovely. It was pretty much an elopement where the officiant meets you at a landmark. But I found out Chicago has a lovely step in between the courthouse and the pop-up elopement. Once a month, Chicago will do the “courthouse” thing at the Chicago Cultural Center. http://www.…

This pisses me off, mostly because I’ve met you and you don’t look fucking pregnant and I hate people. Also, your Halloween costume was killer.

DO IT. Meeting Jezzies in real life has only ever been a positive experience for me. And how can you possibly not be a part of the cool kids club when you have such a great kinja name?

I know she did because she looked mortified as she apologized but fuck I’m sick of being a learning experience for clueless people.

That’s happened to me too, and I gave the same reply :/ *hugs*

Why doesn’t everyone in the world understand this??????

New rule (really should be an old one)-never make a comment about a woman being pregnant unless she tells you. I'm sorry that happened.

The receptionist at my doctor’s office congratulated me today. “For what?” I asked. After a pause, she replied, “ ... you’re expecting?” “No, just fat,” I said, as I hurried out the door. Thanks, universe, for the reminder that my body is wrong. This has been happening for a decade, at least. I already felt too…

I know three couples currently engaged after issuing an ultimatum (which in each case was almost at the deadline before the proposal), and they’re all miserable and it’s hard to not judge them.

My aunt proposed to my uncle on the beach, back in the 80s when that was a bit scandalous :)

Uh. I can assure you that being someone’s fiancé doesn’t grant you the ability to make medical decisions for the person. Fuck, I couldn’t even get Comcast to talk to me when my husband and I were engaged. You have no legal rights as a “fiancé"