The people who are at risk of delivering a child with FAS are probably not going to be able to follow any advice regarding drinking during pregnancy.

Normal folks get Banks’s. Historical folks get Jesus’.

The infograph was downright insulting. “alcohol can result in pregnancy and STDs.” CDC, I think you’re missing a key component there. I mean, drinking a beer doesn’t magically give you herpes babies. Yet.

Borde*

Her red carpet dress looks like stormtroopers.

It’s not that this lighting makes it look tight, it’s that the lighting in the Instagram photos hid how tight it is: they’re darkened so much that the dress becomes a solid dark field of color and we can’t see the shadows and wrinkles created by how tight it is. It’s really too bad the fit is so distracting, it would…

There’s no way she can sit in that dress unless it has a secret velcro vent she rips open when seated.

Maybe someone told her she looked like a cake frosting rose. (I do like it better, but then, I also like cake.)

Finally we can give Republican men the ability to carry out their dreams of carrying all the fetuses to term. I can’t wait! I want this to be a requirement for every man who is anti-abortion.

get skinny and stay skinny the natural way, folks. with a crippling nicotine addiction! enjoy this matching virginia slim outfit to wear when you accidentally cough up a piece of your lung

There was an advertisement for this fragrance in a bus stop I walk past on my way to work. They had changed the V to an S and I cackled at SAUSAGE every morning until they changed the poster.

That’s weird, I always thought Kate Moss had a lot of experience with fresh powder.

As another perpetual single this is something that I’m dying to know as well.

TBH I would be disappointed if it didn’t feel like a low budget commercial for tequila mixer.

Yeah, and also, I love cars (restoring two classics very slowly right now). If I’d had a boyfriend who complimented me on being brainy and reading good, then built me a car, and was that smoking hot, you’d have to use a crowbar and tranquilizers to pop me off that dick. I’d be there permanently. I’d pay my taxes from…

No. EVEN WITH THOSE ABS, HE IS STILL THE WORST RORY BOYFRIEND.

this is a good question. because i saw the butt of my dreams in the tom hardy comments section.

I was working at a popular electronics store when a customer came in to buy his wife a really fancy scale for mother’s day. I couldn’t talk him out of it. He just kept telling me “she’s been feeling really out of shape lately, and this will be great to help her get back on track”

If my (nonexistent) boyfriend got me a cream to make my ass and my boobs bigger for Valentines Day, I would seriously reconsider the relationship. Nothing says romance like, “Your ass and tits could use a little work, babe.” Is this why I’m single? If so, I’ll keep it that way.

This is awesome. Now, all other airports need to follow suit!