I remember when these tubes were laid out at gas stations; a little bell would ring, alerting the attendant who filled your tank, checked the air in your tires, checked your oil and washed your windshield.

Carl looks like a Wallace & Gromit side character.

Theory: People who need this much booze to get it on have zero technique, savoir-faire and general sexy-times skillz. If any of the women on this show has ever had an orgasm from a partner, I will eat my shorts. If any of the hetero men on this show has ever made anyone orgasm, I will eat a second pair of shorts. I am…

Can he just.... not?

This is hell world. The fact that the next Democratic president’s administrative appointments will be judged as fit or not depending on personal merits, experience, achievements is going to drive me absolutely insane. Everyone should realize that the fact that Trump’s portrait will hang in the white house for as long…

Mediocre white man uses the ghost of more talented black man as performance fodder during sports show that uses black men as pablum for the enjoyment of billionaires.

“I’m a walking candy apple!”

And I was like, “Ugh, here we go.”

“Say, do you feel like going out and getting some attention? I feel like it.”

Pictured: A horse’s ass. Also, a painting of a horse

I am going to assume your comment is earnest and give you the straight answer:

The Trump childrens’ Instagrams offer decent insight to how they operate. Don Jr. is tasteless, focused on enforcing gender-norm stereotypes with his children (“my little man” and “daddy’s girl” are oft-used phrases), and creepily obsessed with his father’s opposition. Eric lacks personality or conviction. Tiffany…

I’m so fucking done with this shit parade.

Right? Really,the romance and surprise thing can still happen after you have talked about it, and decided together. My husband even asked that I show him the kind of ring I wanted, so Iknew exactly what was going to eventually be on my finger - and he still surprised the hell out of me when he proposed, because a) he…

You sound like me having a discussion with myself when I’m driving :)

I don’t know why, but the way you said “that’s AGGRESSIVE aggressive” reminds me of one of my favorite lines from The Simpsons, when Bart joins a boy band but it turns out the boy band is really using subliminal messaging to get people to join the Navy. When Lisa confronts Bart’s manager, LT Smash (i.e. Lieutenant…

So, I worked as a visitor services associate for 2.5 years (sold tickets, worked into), and was there during the lawsuit. You would not believe the god awful way that people treated us, the lowest rung employees with no power or control (or benefits bc we were all part-time, so we got pretty much nothing). Visitors…

If you read this article in obverse, you’ll hear that Paul is alive.

I say, fight words with words. Can’t say “science-based”? Say “honest.” Can’t say “transgender”? Say “human.” Can’t say “entitlements”? Say “deserved.”

Yeah? I should have kids? I’m in my mid 30s, unmarried, don’t own a home, and I’m still paying off extensive student loans. You fuckers have made it impossible for this generation to afford anything, and yet you think we should procreate so we can, what, have a new generation of struggling poors?