I would guess that the face is in response to the entire construct of revenue collection that our PDs have become, and not a criticism of your spouse. Many of us would much prefer that your spouse be investigating crimes, responding to incidents of theft/violence, etc.... literally anything but parking and waiting …

My rule change for Field Goals would be allowing the defense to have a player scale the uprights and try to swat a ball, similar to King Kong swatting airplanes from atop the Empire State Building. Some interesting scenarios:

Trying to figure out when a non-kick Try could result in a safety against the defense (which in this case is only awarded one point) - if the ball is dead the moment the defense gets possession, I don't see how this is possible... can anyone think of a scenario?

"Thanks to the support of my tremendous family and friends, I have decided I will not be attending the draft this year."

Tebow: [approaches waters]
Tebow: [dips toe into waters]
Tebow: [tastes waters]
Tebow: [sprinkles waters onto forehead]
Waters: [fly ten feet beyond forehead]
Every DB in the NFL: [goes to heaven]

Yes lets ban the legal means of acquiring Ivory. That'll stop the poaching!

My problem is that by the time I get all the gear together to measure, I'm not able to get an accurate "flaccid" measurement anymore.

I think this happened in the Olympics with badminton also. If you don't want teams tanking, don't design a tournament that creates these incentives.

I dislike the term, "scab." In the past, many "scabs" were people who couldn't get into the union if they tried (many unions in the US have a history of racism that, in some cases, still exists) and needed to feed their families and/or get an income the best they could. If I need to feed my family in a world where…

What the everliving fuck does the "analytics are dumb" crowd think analytics are? I do think that the BRAND "analytics," like "big data," smacks of cynical consultant-speak, and probably obscures at least as much as it illuminates. It contributes to the idea that "analytics" is this crazy Other thing, like if someone…

I saw him in a parking lot when I was younger, and too nervous to go say hi myself. So I send my dad. "Hey, Hi, are you Xbox?" "Uh... I'm X-Pac"

If you want to be pedantic, and I frequently do, prostitution is legal in parts of Nevada, but not in Las Vegas or surrounding Clark County. However, if prostitution were legal, those people forced into it would have protection instead of getting arrested too and there would be a far smaller number of under-age…

The problem is that stings like this don't protect that "17 year old hooker who was turned out by a smack-wielding pimp daddy?"

it would be nice to be able to dictate what other people thought about their own lives, but we can't do it, so we might as well engage them as best we can. THAT'S MY ETHOS, good night.

Jezebel ran an article about Bruce's impending coming out and E! series, and the consensus of the comments seemed to be "Fuck this asshole for making a public spectacle out of something that's such a painful process for so many people and turning it into a clown show just for attention."

Your "I don't like soccer" joke would have worked a lot better (working under the myth that "Wah Wah, I don't like the subject of this article" jokes are ever funny) if the biggest highlight in US soccer history wasn't off a fast-break counter.

What you're calling a "legal gray area" is actually "cops breaking the law." A gray area is a case when there actually is some question about what the law says. (Your other example, about declaring loudly that you're totally, totally not going to bomb this airplane, is really spot-on. That could conceivably be…

There is no such thing as an "independent federal inquiries".

This shows how the #BlackLivesMatter folks completely miss the point. Yes, black people are the disproportionate victims of murder by the police, but it does happen to everyone. It isn't a race issue, it is a lack of accountability issue. All too often the police have none, regardless of the victim's race.

Your piece about Serial mirrors your critique thereof. You started off well, and laid a thesis on us: