First off there is no wiggle room for “spirit of the agreement in a legal document. Common sense interpretation by US courts is all VAG can hope for.

A+ effort keeping the car functional as long as he did. Still upsetting he did a couple point turn to hit the ramp instead of flooring it and jumping down the stairs.

Airports always have the best vending machines.

No, this is a geeky hipster pizza thing.

Dammit, I finally managed to explain to my mom what nerdcore crust punks are.

FFS with the helicopter dog parenting. Not to mention conspiracies the dog was pushed and someone needs to have mortal retribution visited on them. This is called natural selection and apparently doggy’s time wasn’t quite up despite jumping out of a moving vehicle in traffic.

Eye, singular.

A very Magary Christmas

I’m going to suggest a 2016/17 Lexus RC350 Coupe w/RWD. Usable manufacturer options are slim which is usually a good sign the base model is fairly well equipped. Furthermore, they seem to hit the sweet spot of reliability throughout the warranty period. Something I both value and would accept as a weekly chore with…

Torch, but I’m sure Patrick will do just fine. Going to be hard following the tank but a Winter rout in a stripped out VW recall would make a very fitting year end edition of Jason Patrick Drives.

If there was a car this week that deserved a Jalopnik sticker this would be it.

What, this is college basketball. Or do 50 point miracle comebacks in the last 2 seconds only happen during the magical other dimension that is post-season college basketball on national television?

The thought of you in a 1000 hp road legal (cough) car scares the shit out of me if I’m honest. On second thought red seats end up being more apt for how scary that is.

Cavalier was indeed a surprisingly fun mountain car with the right set of tires. Very anonymous on the road too.

The official line through media has been admission by one or more players of multiple partners/multiple partners at one time (bit of grey area) consensually. The high profile parent and inclusion of an underage male were both cited as legal reasons blocking access to further information. Meaning good lawyers and…

For $5 you are damned right I’d be seen once in that.

With all the hubbub over Buy Gawker day I almost forgot how many great stories you managed. 2017 is going to need to bring stuff just as good as that neon G-Wagen and Eldora in a McLaren. The new amalgamation of a G-Wagen and Sprinter van or a Winter tire equipped GTC4Lusso would punch the same buttons.

That is just going way too far for a pull my finger gag. Just because you’re double deuce doesn’t make it acceptable.

I still prefer Zach Lavine’s “Fuck ME!” when the T-Wolves picked him. Followed by “Minnesota’s a great town.”