It's sort of creepy that the only thing that's going to save Lynch from having to deal with this same scenario over and over again is Groundhog Day.

Penises. It makes them penises.

I, for one, hope this asshole feels the full brunt of the league's disciplinary process and gets himself suspended for like two weeks.

"There is surveillance video showing the attendant taking the footballs from the official's locker room into another room at Gillette Stadium before bringing them out to the field, sources tell FOX Sports."

This is not exactly news Tom. Jay's sucked at home all year.

With all that's gone on this year you'd think Baltimore players would know better than to hit a bitch.

Serious question: If the league allows players with (e.g.) ADHD to get exemptions to use drugs like Adderall that might otherwise be banned, why can't they have a process for allowing people like Lynch - who, if the armchair shrinks are right, may have a diagnosable social-anxiety-type disorder - to have an exemption…

"The NFL turned to sixth alternate Joe Flacco, but he declined because his wife is expecting their third child."

The decision to vacate the wins was nearly two and a half years old, so it comes as no surprise that Penn State completely fucked it.

Prosecutors remain baffled at the fact that of all the people surveyed, they can't seem to find a Patriots fan who began following the team before 2001.

Denver needs to win a superbowl before Elway starts this sort of self aggrandizing talk. He's clearly putting the cart before himself.

They're all so wonderful. I don't know I could pick a favorite, let alone six.

It must be such a relief to see something black on the floor in Chicago that isn't Derrick Rose.

Poor Detroit.

I hope it's mom's job to teach their daughter how to use a tampon.

Movies that are well written and directed do better than movies that are terribly written and terribly directed 9 times out of 10. Captain America 2, Xmen DOFP, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Guardians of the Galaxy, and Interstellar were all fantastic. What do they all have in common? Great directors and great…

You got to give Kobe credit though. Byron Scott asked him if he wanted to sit out yesterday's game and Kobe actually passed.

Here at Deadspin we generally assume that our readers are at least somewhat intelligent people. A lot of other sites dumb down content or write for an audience of morons: we don't do that. But because we've gotten at least one dumbass e-mail, and some dumbass comments and tweets, I'm going to explain why what Ed…

Max Maxwell? These parents are really getting lax with their creativity.

The Knicks have been trying it ever since they got Carmelo. Shit just doesn't work.