Hey everyone! I'm from Holland! Isn't that weird? 

And solid arteries! 

“I like the cut of his jib!”--Giancarlo Stanton 

In my day we'd find an avalanche, pull out the corpses, strap 'em to our feet and go flyin' down the mountain, yellin' "look at me, I'm ridin' dead people!" Whoopee! It was a thing of beauty I tell ya. 

Because they're all 85 years old. 

He knows he's under a great deal of scrutiny, yet he continues to cheat. That's commitment! 

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t want to bring it out from the shadows, but also avoid taxation.

Redacted, because BrewCrew82 made the same joke. 

What's even worse is the press conference where they bring out the just-fired coach/manager. 

I'm cuckoo for Coco Gauff! 

This would be a way more persuasive article if you presented ANY evidence that Garcia was at fault.

Was Chico Escuela there? 

C’mon. It wasn’t a “miss,” it was a solid kick that the keeper guessed right and made a good save on. Suarez is a jerk, but but don't make up stuff about him. 

How 'bout no, you crazy Dutch bastard! 

Two Chubs are better than one! At least that's what my wife says. 

Yes, the problem is that no one ever tries to have a reasonable discussion with Trump. 

“hilariously small and remarkably expensive”

Streisand effect. 

There’s only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other peoples' cultures, and the Dutch.

Except if you're the USWNT, then Deadspin will have your back.