I do economic forecasting for a living.

Would that it twere so simple.

Those towels are nice, tho. 

Asking for a friend. 

I hope the ref is on the smend. 

Trump has been married three times, cheats constantly, f**** a porn star and pays her off, has been caught on tape bragging about sexually assaulting women, and has been credibly accused of sexual assault by many women, but she's the "slut"? Go to hell.

“the defense immediately made its way over as a unit to trap the running back in an uncomfortable position.”

As a pedant, I know that even if no one corrected me, they would have been thinking it. (I’m sure a non-trivial number of commenters know about the name change.) And I also think that being that precise makes an over-the-top joke even more over-the-top. 

Please, it’s “former-Yugoslav-republic-of-Macedonian-American.”

I’m from Missouri, you’ll have to show me why this is a horrible idea.

Came here for this joke, left feeling satisfied. 

My wife says that exact same thing! 

“Numerous people contacted for this story said he is a relentless self promoter who lies about nearly everything he says he does.”

Two (not mutually exclusive) possibilities.

Not sorry. 

If it was the "Astros' decision," that means it was Jim Crane's decision. 

Stones and the Who should be one and two.

He's qualified to be President of the United States! 

“My overexuberance in support of a player has been misinterpreted as a demonstration of a regressive attitude about an important social issue.” A social issue so important I'm not going to actually say what it is... 

Username checks out.