Totally fair reaction :-)

I am so ridiculously poor, hahaha. It’s just a habit I can’t seem to break.

For a second, I thought the Saltines were standing up and you ate them like a line of dominos.

That’s not all...I also eat burritos the same way. Not tacos, though; I hold those.

Now, before I get eviscerated for this, I should say that I’ve been doing it since I was like thirteen, and the reason is that — for me — it extends the experience and allows me to really savor every moment...

I gotta say, I’m majorly disappointed that the movie wasn’t ninety minutes of Sandra trying to rescue a bird trapped in a box.

Dementia?

Except parsley, that bastard.

Just dropping by to say that the Jezebel staff and the Jezebel commentariat over the years have helped me become a much better person that I would be otherwise, and you’re all beyond awesome. Jezebel (and Gizspinniktu Clubroothacker) Forever!

“She’s more wax now than woman; twisted and evil.”

The insecure, evil GH people didn’t like getting called out on their bullshit, so they decided to disable the comments. Multiple Deadspin staff writers have resigned today. In short, Deadspin is in a tailspin due to Great Hill’s great incompetence.

It’s because they’re all on meth. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner.

Bear would be ashamed.

“*sigh* Why won’t she just die already so I can finally be King?”

Today they’re driving, tomorrow they’ll be going off to culinary school.

Not to mention polyaphobia.

No worries here, Kanye; I’d rather castrate myself than even listen to your stuff, let alone have sex to it.

Sounds like Mark just got zucked in the ass.

“Justin Trudeau is still the prime minister of Canada.”