Considering Depp’s entire argument can be summed up as “I know you are, but what am I?” I’m not surprised this is blowing up in his face.

TL; DR:

Nice try Jake, but you’re not getting my AI glasses.

Of course, considering the Pubs pretty much see the Constitution as a series of suggestions now, who knows what’ll happen.

“White House Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney confirmed during a press conference that, contrary to Donald Trump’s many, many denials, the Trump administration did in fact hold up aid to Ukraine to force them to investigate the Democrats.”

Well, his brain is half-senile and half-clogged with Cheetos and KFC skins.

It’s so ridiculous.

One piece of advice: before engaging in sexual relations with a merperson, make sure the attraction is real and not just guppy love.

“Don’t be a tough guy. Don’t be a fool!

I kinda have to wonder how much of that “50” (using quotes because pfft) percent are people approving because they know his performance/behavior is likely to get him kicked out that much faster.

Every morning when I wake up, my bed looks like a tornado blasted through.

Few people can win a match against a cat. The purring gets me every time, even if it’s Spot (Data’s cat).

I spent a good chunk of my life obsessed with finding either the right friends or partner(s) to keep me from being alone. It took an apocalyptic breakup to finally wake me up and realize that being alone isn’t just okay, but actually beneficial. All the time and energy I wasted on trying to create a social/romantic…

“She did not get abducted by aliens or slip through a time portal.”

Thus began the Human-Zora War...

I’d just like to take this opportunity to pour one out for Splinter. Like the rat, you were radical.

“Have merci.”

Just after high school, I broke up with a frenemy after five years by making out with his girlfriend (who had also been my friend for three years). It turned out that she wasn’t that into me, but at least we both got rid of him...more or less (she later ended up marrying his brother).

Elections might work...