Because of b), you could have been the deciding factor.

Close: Fellatia Cockhard

"Chew, Chew" made me think woo-woo!
Then, of course this:
https://callyourselfanerd.c…

I rubbed off on him, and now I have a restraining order.

Should have kept an eye on it.

As long as there's lots of walking in corridors, Mrs periscopes will watch.

It's OK, we've all clubbed together to hire a sex worker to attach clamps to you nipples and then to a car battery, so you don't have to worry.

Teachers with massive boners: never inappropriate.

Can you imagine how Wayne Rooney's career would have gone if he'd had to achieve academic success?

It's more than a little tone deaf, isn't it?

Also a shovel, but make sure that you drag it along the ground so she's aware that you like gardening.

You need to be careful. I once directly quoted Reginald D. Hunter on the AV Club. That was a big mistake.

There's definitely a scale of acceptability.
All porn/no interaction: obviously bad.
Porn as a part of interaction: obviously good.

Two words: suction cup.

Mrs periscopes loves reading (printed) porn. I'm not fussed for it myself, but whatever floats her boat I guess.

Happy anniversary!

Away!

It's totally worth checking out. They are some great stories, shown as TV movies here.

I always thought it was Super MariBlo

It did here - it hit #1.
It is a great, catchy pop/rock tune.