You're more likely to suffer from their fleas than their quills.

We learnt this at primary school during a project on gypsies (as we were told to call them way back then); also we learnt how to snare rabbits, although our teacher told us to dismantle the traps.

I do in fact remember Hedgehog crisps.

Sorry to be that guy: it was Roald Dahl (Blake was the illustrator)

Perhaps there is a grain of conditioning in here - I was a late bloomer, and my mother told me that it didn't matter that I wasn't a rich and handsome ladykiller, because all the girls wanted to settle with a nice man.
Still, it is totally unacceptable to behave like an entitled arsehole.

I tend to be submissive - I had to grow up quickly when I was a kid for various reasons (I have mentioned them on here before so won't go into detail). I kind of really enjoy having little responsibility other than doing the things I know Mrs periscopes really likes.

When we were chatting to our (even sluttier) Anglican vicar in the run-up to our wedding, he was relieved to know that the now-Mrs periscopes and I had been in a physical relationship already.
Apparently this meant we were more aware of each other's qualities and faults, and that we were more likely to be compatible.

I was once dumped in the week between my birthday and Christmas.
What a happy holiday!

Good idea - I have been in more than my fair share of interviews where the interviewer is either using invalid selection criteria or irrelevant competence-based questions.

Yep - I joined Mensa at 11 years old, and left at 15, because I realised everyone who liked to be primarily identified as having a high IQ was a dick.

My in-laws didn't want me and the then-future-Mrs periscopes and I to have sex before marriage in their house, but I think that was just because they knew we'd already broken a bed at university.

Ah, but someone being cruel to a masochist would be treating them nicely. The asshole.

I fuckin' hate pikeys.

HellBaby

Stop, internet!

And he likes you too.

"…probably more than a little overrated, but still a worthwhile film in here if you care to go looking beneath the hype" is an interesting stance given that all the hype came from critics watching it and telling us all how great it was.

I'd be on very shaky grounds writing an editorial piece in response.

See, I love "Meatballs" because it's very funny and not entirely dependent upon knowing winks.

Caravans are for people who want to get away from it all by dragging it behind them in a shed.
I've never understood the appeal - you sit in a cramped box and shit in a bucket. And they're expensive. Then you have to buy a car specifically capable of towing it, which costs more. And you have to sleep in a field next to…