Apparently no one, which is why I’m chained to this desk instead of chain-smoking Camels in front of the Patriot Lounge right now.

The word hero gets tossed around a lot these days, but...

That W eating speech is still the worst thing he’s ever done

Even worse is putting SR. on a jersey.  You get two extra letters just because you couldn’t think of a name for your kid?

seems topical: why do we put JR on jerseys?

And yet the NFL is OK with obscenities like “GABBERT” and “OSWEILER”

It has nothing to do with Bogdan. He watched Lady Bird and was left unimpressed by the city.

Minesweeper 

If the Pirates want gambling to fund their stadium then they can damn well bet against the Pirates like everybody else does.

After yesterday, Poland are no longer a country, and are therefore ineligible for the fraudulence rankings.

#fuggidaboutitandotherrandomphraseswithoutspaceswaitwhyarewedoingthis

Ze problem is your a drinking in your BMW, which is verboten, and you were punished appropriately. 

Love to own the brands by doing exactly what the brands want 

I think what they’re trying to argue is that it might be funny like Michael Scott doing his Ping character on the Office. It’s horribly offensive, but the comedy on The Office comes from Michael’s lack of awareness and from how uncomfortable his co-workers are. The difference is that Michael doesn’t say these things…

See, it’s funny because the government is doing something awful to children. 

“Actually, the divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

At least he didn't take a knee. Then they'd really have to bring the hammer down.

I feel like it’s missing something. Like some sort of Internet-enabled device to squeeze the bag for me at an optimal rate.