It looked rather ho-hum (albeit pretty) and when reviews came out affirming such (including this site’s own!) then I didn’t go see it because — I know this is crazy, bear with me — I actually care about a film’s story. If you’re gonna be crowned the “bastion of original sci-fi stories” then at least write an original…

Nick Valentine is on the case!

I’m not sure how this is “definitive”, but I also don’t care. Frankly, I can’t wait ‘til we as a society stop caring so much about who someone wants to fuck. It is one of the least interesting things about people, and yet it dominates the majority of all discourse about them. I’d prefer we start gossiping about the…

Aw come on, that line was pretty clever. 

“Sorry I dunno, I was just the Adam Driver, you want to ask the Adam Director.”

My favorite free things are the ones I need to pay money for.

There’s a moment in the trailer where Garfield says “I’ve never jumped” in a very monotone, dead inflection, and boy if that didn’t reinforce my initial desire for him to be voiced by Nick Offerman.

I thought The Power of the Dog was a well-made film that told a very lazy story, so there’s that.

I miss the film grain from Band of Brothers, this looks a bit too..pretty. But maybe that’s because of Austin Butler hogging the frame through most of it?

**wakes up from a wonderfully peaceful sleep absent of any political news**

What do you mean by saying Noel is in a “weird, open revolt”? Just curious, he seems like he’s having a decent time this season. Maybe a bit more impish than usual?

It’s weird to hear a Republican call another “Colonel Sanders” as an insult...isn’t he basically their team mascot?

He had an interview where he was asked when he would stop wearing the clocks. He seemed quite contemplative in the moment, as if the question had been weighing on him for years. He sighed resignation, and with earnest eyes, told the reporter, “When the time is right.”

The coconut flavor is reminiscent of drinking a soda water after just lathering yourself with tanning oil. 

The sheer inventiveness and joy found in Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury and Super Mario Odyssey is absolutely, 100% still fun.

Hey! You and Hasan have something in common: you just completely make things up in order to fit the narrative you want to tell! Maybe you should host The Daily Show?!?

They can, they just don’t want to because it’s more validating for them to make bad-faith arguments in the comments for likes.

Special rings?!