Given the team in question, I thought for sure it would be one of these:

Someone should have murdered her

Hell, even just financial stability, period, whether they are rich or not.

Great read, that mention of 'fear that your husband will lose his job.' I was talking to my mom about this, she stated that for a couple million a year, she'd take a slap or two from her husband, its a price some people are willing to pay to be comfortably well off. My mom was joking but some people do actually think…

"'How could I have married someone who's so bad with money?' 'Why did I marry someone who I can't rely on to attend family functions with me?' 'What possessed me to marry someone who is a habitual nose-picker?!?'"

Jesus's Crucifixion Was Planned, Practiced, Therefore Thorny

As someone who's lived in Asia and used her share of squatty potties/toilettes à la turque I'm gonna hafta disagree with you here. There's nothing worse than not being able to sit when the place you ate at the night before is having it's way with your digestive tract! I've never been so happy to have a western toilet…

What if the massive genetic edge was that they were 5 inches taller?

I was on the fence about this year's version... until this. Absolute purchase now.

Those Cardinals fans love dominant pitching, but will gladly settle for three Ks.

When it comes to vile, bigotry-laced protests based on racial inequality in the United States, act like you've been there before.

Sorry, don't have time to watch a 25 minute video.

Well, they did have a grand Wizard at shortstop

These Cardinal's fans are doing things the white way.

Best Klans In Baseball

I'm a freelancer and one of my steady gigs is as a private investigator.

Because China.

There's a reason why Jeremy Lin was the number one selling NBA jersey.

I thought about making a similar comment, but then realized a shitty football team losing a shitty game to another shitty football team isn't really as important as a woman being sexually assaulted.

Oh man, Harris is fucked. After the police do not interview the victim, decide not to interview the accuser, wait 11 months to release the police report, delay the transfer of exculpatory blood work, decline to send the rape kit until being pressured by the public, tell the victim that her life will be "miserable" if…

Just ONE investigation??? Rookie.