So? Everyone knows that's just German for "The Bart The".

That's "The Bart The", Herr glutton.

The Kanji on his right arm clearly say "Die Bart Die"

Someone should have told the kid the five D's of dodgeball, "Dodge, duck, dip, dive and Dodgers are assholes."

It's Boston, Tom. There's no need to point out that something is white.

I remember when I played baseball as a kid, I was listless. Lazy. Slouchy. Then one day, my coach showed me the error of my ways by saying I should go fuck myself with two helmets covered in pine tar and duck-taped to a 34-inch Louisville Slugger. Sideways. Not only did I out-dive and out-routine every other player in…

Having spent an extensive amount of time in Marion County, Indiana? I know this judge's name, and this does not surprise me in the least.

She's "lucky" he didn't turn it around to make it her fault, somehow.

lolwtf, are all their sponsorships going to get taken away if she stops shitting out kids or what?

I think maybe it was a Freudian slip because I want to hit this guy over the head with a viola.

You can tell it's in Australia because the kid spun counter clockwise.

Voices: "In that alley, look: It's a bum. It's a bigot. It's a St. Louis Fan!"

Football Fan: I hate that evil little shit Johnny Manziel want him dead on the field!

"Johnny Manziel texts coach 'come get me'."

Why? No one has fucked Tebow 1.0 yet.

Fuck Tebow 2.0

I really admire Granato's bravery and willingness to live in open comfort with his life choices, which apparently include going on and on and on and on about his goddamn cat when recruiters come calling.

Recruit: (attends Rice)

Would have been 1000x better if he sent it in a group text to all the GMs.

"Instead, it'll be in the winter, when temperatures rarely get out of the 70s."

Am quite stoked. My roomate is most likely picking up a Wii U specifically for this game, so I'll have access to a Wii U for some of the other Wii/Wii U games I've been looking at. Not to mention FUCKING EPIC DRUNKEN MARIO KART again. Shit, it's been years since I've done that.