But please remember the inviolable rule of Cleveland Browns drafts: It’s not that they make bad choices, it’s that bad things happen to good players after the Browns pick them.

“He went as long as he could”

I’ve been trying to get tickets during this run. Man, scalpers keep upping their numbers.

-1 Joe Paterno statue

How fucking corrupt do you have to be to get banned by FIFA?! That’s like being too fat for KFC.

Browns lose in even getting mentioned about who to laugh at.

Now?

Cutler is refusing to leave Miami this weekend since his wife told him that evacuations cause autism.

Even now, after this nightmare stretch/Arizona catching fire, it’s still 11.5. That is mind-blowing in two directions at once.

When asked for comment about Elliot, Goodell stated the following:

Astros Pres: What can we do to help?

I’m sure Houston will appreciate the two floatation devices that are part of the package.

Colin Kaepernick doesn’t have a job because he won’t stand.

I like to think he quit because he didn’t want to profit off the harm ESPN was causing to people’s brains.

It’s probably a good thing that the Royals aren’t scoring, lest we need more nobility that are all incest-y and such.

“Problems with the Indians? Brother, you don’t know the half.”

If Mayweather simply pretends McGregor is a woman, he should have no problem beating the daylights out of him.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a trade where each team ends up with a different-sized version of the player they already had.

I’m not a big NFL fan or anything, but IMHO, anyone who is old enough to have dodged the draft and can still be competitive at professional sports deserves at least some kind of respect.

as the outgoing governor of New Jersey will not pursue an on-air gig at WFAN.