I can’t even quantify who the MVP is this year much less the greatest team of all time while attempting to remove my recency bias and also simultaneously removing my rose-colored nostalgia glasses. Plus I need to remember to sleep and eat, these are vital processes to give me the energy to wake up the next day and…

Fisher took Barnes’ wife then crashed his car. Sounds like he’s practicing the ol’ pick and roll.

“Washing out?” Really? And the worst part is that you probably weren’t even trying to make a joke. You simply didn’t realize that that was a poor choice of words.

Could it be that they are afraid of reprisals from extreme countrymen for opposing, I don’t know, ‘Jihad’, ort supporting the UK’s support of zionism, or whatever they fear that would be signaled to the extremists in Saudi society for observing the moment of silence.

That would have to be one magic loogie.

“Flat Earther Does Something Dumb.”

Nah, Mackanin will make him the closer. And he will never pitch another inning this season.

I’m not saying the Ryan brothers are bad at defense, but they somehow already received life sentences for this.

J.R. Smith to reporters: “You tryin’ to hit the pipe?”

Marijuana wasn’t the only thing in the Cavs locker room that got smoked.

Wise, you trying to get the pipe?

In surprising reversal, Chad Johnson is taking the House to it.

Also: Trump’s dad on the day he gave him his $14 million “loan.”

You’re a fucking bum who’s been given the world.

His opinion is bad? Or being black in America is bad?

That’s approximately how many times I strike out each night at the bar.

Whoever directed this has no sense of storytelling. They were all over the place. I need a fucking clear narrative arc and I didn’t get one. Full disclosure, I am a Michigan fan so I am hoping his next directorial effort shows some growth.

Jordan never missed a dunk in the playoffs. LeBron will never be the GOAT if he keeps choking like this.

That is NBA Jam levels of rim rejection. It’s just missing that awesome spring sound that used to play.

Isn’t that the same way he celebrated after he won Chopped?