The Indians also believe there are many moons.

“I’m relieved to be home. The experience was pretty mind-blowing.”

On the bright side, thanks to the Jets, New Jerseyans are used to watching someone take a dump on the playing field.

I would legally change my name to Charles Barkley for this opportunity.

“Nobody Pukes Up A Game Quite Like The Raptors”

Until now, Arizona’s favorite bank shot was when Deandre Ayton checked his account balance.

Asked how he felt about the gators on the course, Sergio responded only “Izod.”

We also would have accepted, “Like Pitino, Aldridge’s press conference finished too soon.”

I estimate there is a greater than 50% chance that I’m going to eat ice cream after dinner tonight. Would be a big help to my wife who wants the cookies. You heard it here first.

Important observation: Thon’s jersey appears to say “Sucks 7” on it.

“I’ve got some good ideas about how to fix basketball.”

Still beats using any public restroom in Alabama.

You know who was great at the hidden ball trick? John Kruk.

In related news, I’ve yet to have dinner today.

Coincidentally, the Padres will be forced to redo their whole lineup in less than month, too.

Constand probably also wanted not to be drugged and raped. So greedy.

Live in Cleveland. Can confirm re: sandwiches.

Birds of a feather rot in prison together.

They were sitting ducks.

Jason Grimsely’s pager just went off.