Still trying to get someone to publish my “25 Shades: Pull My Hair Near The Root Not The End, Asshole” spinoff.

Are two of the main female characters really called Ana and Mia? That is FUCKED UP.

I’ve only ever seen bits and pieces of the first movie when it’s come on tv, but in my head canon How to be Single is the sequel to these movies after Ana drops Christian but uses his alimony to afford the giant New York apt.

Oh please. 16 & Pregnant sailed that ship eons ago.

The writing was so bad in this piece. I’m actually angry at Maureen Dowd right now. How dare she take this gift of an interview that Uma has given her and trascribe it so incoherently? Like Jesus, Uma even got you fucking car wreck footage! She brought you the receipts and this sloppy hack job is how you repay her? I…

BUT WHY DID SHE WAIT SO LONG TO CURE CANCER? WHAT IS SHE HIDING?!

Yes, it would have been better.

He had some work done (ear lift, tongue tightening) so looked refreshed in his later years.

Now I know just how much I hate my job and my life, apparently, because I watched almost that entire video of that girl going through her skincare routine. My main takeaway: what kind of fucking monster puts their deodorant on after getting dressed?!?

Have you seen the Japanese game show “Slippery Stairs”? A bunch of greased-up people try to climb a big staircase.

All I know is, do not disparage Crockpot on Jezebel... I learned my damn lesson with you all yesterday.

They look like the word “struggle” made sentient and, split in two because, this struggle is so huge, it takes two flesh vessels to contain.

I say this in all seriousness, because you usually make a lot of sense - are you ok? Is this a voice-to-text or similar screw up?

We should have listened

what in the hell are you talking about?? Wash your crock pot!!

Eliza Dushku’s brother in Bring It On was my favorite.

I’ll withhold judgement for now but white “chocolate” is pure confectionery garbage so excuse my prejudicial side eye, pink “chocolate.”

I like my chocolate like I like my attitude, dark and bitter.

Go.

What would Mean Girls 2 even be about? They wrapped up the story pretty well in the first movie. I’d rather see a buddy-cop movie starring Janice and Damian.