This is a perfect description. 

If I exclusively got my news from Splinter I would think that Beto and Steve King are two terrible politicians but Beto was slightly worse.

If I wanted to interact I wouldn’t be watching TV or a movie. 

c) THE MOTHERFUCKING CONSTANT AUTOPLAYING THINGS!!!!

If you were to replace me with Bear Grylls in any one of the episodes of his show, and given me whatever help he had, I would be dead before the first commercial in every episode. 

I mean, even in his original show he’d drink pee after being stranded for like 45 minutes. I think the guy just likes drinking pee. To each their own. 

Ugh. Too far. 

Because he’s the third best basketball player to ever step on the court. He’s absolutely boring and has the personality of a house plant, but people are going to be interested in anything having to do with an athlete of his magnitude. Same thing with Jordan by the way. He’s boring and an all around terrible person,…

It’s SLAM magazine. First of all, no one reads it. Second of all, there’s no way Kobe would talk to them if they talked about him raping. It’s not the NY Times or even The Atlantic. Why waste a blog post on SLAM magazine’s coverage of Kobe Bryant not being hard hitting enough. It’s actually comical that you took the…

Nah he’ll just appoint Candace Owens. 

Don’t worry. He’s in charge of the nuclear arsenal. What could possibly go wrong? I’m sure he’s doing just fine. 

I picture George Costanza working on the Penske file. 

Put MSG on them. 

Just get some MSG and put it all over everything and it will taste better. 

Also most people that have ever gone to college or people that have been generally broke. I’ve never been to prison but at times in my life I was a certified $.25 ramen chef.

I mean it seems like a pretty dumb campaign but what exactly about wearing pajamas makes the right go crazy? Pajamas are comfortable. Hot chocolate is also delicious. I’d also like to have healthcare you know, so I don’d die or go bankrupt from a broken bone. Oh well, this is yet another thing the right did that I…

Most self-described “Alpha Males” are covered in cheeto dust and haven’t lef their parent’s basement yet this year. 

I’m pretty happy having no idea what ‘Pajama Boys’ are. 

I don’t disagree with any of that, but I don’t think it should be viewed as a negative. And don’t get me wrong, I am not at all sure about Beto, and as it stands now would not get my Primary vote; however, I don’t think it’s appropriate to tag him as just another moderate Democrat with no real new ideas. We don’t know…

Yes, and we need a good nickname for him. I submit “Drunken Pissbaby Brett Kavanaugh”.