He doesn't actually do it that badly. I mean, the entire thing is beyond ridiculous, but the actual dance is not as bad as I expected.

Lol, someone needs to tell Stephen Smith that provocation is not a defense. It's the first thing you learn in law school. It's like Fisher Price Law School 101.

Reading this made me shudder. I call it the Ultimate Judas - betrayal of one's own sex due to internalized sexism and misogyny.

Any time his name is mentioned, this is all I can think of.

Anyone with more than a half of a brain cell knew I was making a joke, and not quoting Stephen A. Smith exactly. Sorry you missed that.

"She was clearly provoking him. Women need to learn not to provoke men like that"

No but ... I just a few weeks ago another state told me I could only find something on Micro Fiche. And this was something from the 1990s, not that long ago.

How about some Chocolate Thunder?

Dealing with courthouses is like going back in time 20 years. I have a faxing account solely for working with them. A FAX ACCOUNT! Always glad to bump into someone who knows what a pain that can be.

Can't post what we don't have. Allred's firm only released the first page of the filing along with the statements. Because courthouses tend to be pretty archaic in terms of tech, we can't even look up the case file yet because it takes about 24 hours to register on the docket. For the sake of transparency, we attached…

Just stop throwing pretzel rocks at pregnant women and we can put this all behind us.

I've been there as a Bears fan... I'm going to go with 95% of the above is true. I cannot count how many times I was called some variation of faggot or had shit thrown at me. You people are the fucking worst.

That would be a great penalty. You as well as your team has to participate in hard knocks.

his punishment was diminished because the evidence against him was based on Irsay

He had to pinky swear to Goodell, and on scout's honor, that he'd stop taking pills and drinking for 6 weeks.

That... would be interesting.

Yeah, that's a big difference. If he couldn't get paid for the 6 weeks, then this would be something. When a player is suspended it costs game checks, best I can tell an owner just can't go to the games.

He has to watch the game from his yacht instead of the luxury owner's box in the stadium.

I made fun of an Eagles fan at a game one time because he was wearing jorts.

He sounds like the kind of clueless boasting a kid who doesn't know anything about sex but was hanging out with older boys would do.