I had no idea you were married to Drew Magary.

"Additionally, we're going to take away the 2015 2nd and 4th round draft picks of the New England Patriots just to be safe, and also suspend Michael Vick for the season because he probably did something bad. Also, everyone reading this letter is fined $40,000."

True but the relationship was doomed because the two aren't even related. Sick fucks.

For clarification, we were like six years old! Just so everybody knows that.

Hey those meatballs are pretty great when you're drunk!

You bought meatballs at a furniture store, what were you expecting exactly?

IKEA meatballs suck. I've tried them once, in Sweden, and I wont be trying them again.

I smoked for over 20 years, and have been vaping for almost 2. Regardless of what the tobacco scientists try to sell you, vaping has single-handedly changed my life. I can breathe better than I have since I was a child. I no longer suffer from sleep apnea / snoring. I can easily work out and play with my kids. My…

As a non-smoker I'm ALL ABOUT E-Cig use, it means no stinky cigarette smoke and no ashes or cigarette butts thrown everywhere by inconsiderate smokers.

Yeah, but so is "Hey! I fucked my mom!"

Golf's problem as a sport is that it's not a sport. It's a GAME for rich, fat, white, racist, entitled assholes. Like Wall Street.

"I saw a deaf, dumb and blind kid playing pinball this morning. It reminded me of that song by The Who, 'Magic Bus'."

He is a total moron who obviously didn't do his homework. Mo'Ne is going to be playing Varsity Soccer and Varsity Basketball this coming year for her high school when she enters the 8th grade. She is an amazing athlete all around, and at this young age has a bright future of at least her choice of college…

I'm sure that's not all that went in to a shitter that year! Ayyo

Reminds me of the year Matt Kemp dated Rihanna and his numbers went in the shitter. As soon as they split, he came back with a should've-been-MVP season. The lesson as learned from "Rocky": women weaken legs!

Hopefully they don't look at the dick pics I sent to my wife. They may mistake it for child porn. :(

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has a program that privately hunts down purveyors of child porn and creates the hashes of those images and videos for Google.

Any time Adam Schefter gets mentioned, I immediately think of this gif:

Matt Gelb at Philly.com has covered the story with far better detail and for far longer than Posnanski, who at this point is simply repeating what a dozen other baseball writers have pointed out about the way Amaro has operated since taking the GM job full time.