i am a fucking poet

Girl you're veering into humble brag territory ! Some of us were DEEPLY unfuckable as teens. SO HORNY BUT SO UNATTRACTIVE.

utis are the fucking worst. i wouldn't wish one on my worst enemy. maybe on like, hitler or pol pot. but erin who in 6th grade made fun of me because my uniform skirt was longer than my knees, AS PER THE RULES, nah girl. i don't have that much hate for you.

Here's a link to the gofundme info to help support the baker's legal fund.

Dear Journal,

Thank you.

"Everybody thought it was a Dorothy Hammill, but it was really a Pete Rose" - young Liz Lemon.

I'll just leave this here....

Standgebläse

THIS BABY LOOKS LIKE IT KNOWS TOO MUCH.

Never forget...

I'm sorry but you're wearing the wrong shade of pearls, I'm going to need you to go home and change ASAP.

That sorority would RUE THE DAY they told me I couldn't wear a bun. I'd have to go with option #2

what if queen isabella but boobs

I have never been prouder of my country. (No snark - I'm serious.)

WTF kind of hockey score is this?

Not enough guns and Jesus.

Have you seen the new episode? Point 1 and 3 are MAJOR in the new episode.