Don’t sell it short, it’s a chocolate flavored bacteria fountain

I’d kick him in exchange for immunity from prosecution.

He’s the type of guy who would walk by the chocolate fountain and stick his finger in it for a taste.

That’s his pee. He’s not allowed to leave any DNA evidence anywhere so he must take his urine with him when he leaves somewhere.

I bet Eric and his wife share a plate at Golden Corral. (It’s a buffet for all of you who have never had the pleasure.)

If I had a handful of Trumps and I told you at least three would steal lemonade.

Eric Trump’s face looks like he is constantly smelling farts.

forfor a family that’s essentially famous for being rich, they sure eat a lot of shitty fast food.

“Ciara is pregnant and is so excited to be a mom,” one source told E! News. “Russell [Wilson] would like to have two to three children. They both would like a big family. Golden Tate is looking forward to lots of sex with Ciara.”

Russell Wilson with Future Plans to Fuck

Very much illegal:

The Jets, the Mets, the Broncos, the Steelers, Josh McDaniels...

A woman or the game of baseball?

Ben’s gonna be all gray and blue now.

I’d kick that asshole for half of what Suh gets paid.

Pretty sure you’re not allowed to kick people in the NFL. Not men, anyway.

You’re completely off-base, yes.

Now you’re relegated to going through the mental gymnastics of being a Lions fan.

“After reviewing the video evidence, and consulting with our teams physicians, we have concluded Ben Roethlesberger did not suffer a concussion” - NFL Memo in 3 days.

Shit, even if it was someone without Suh’s history I’d say that was intentional.