Of course you have, stunt and competitive eating is the province of the idiot.

This is the correct response.

Any stuffing can be improved by forming it into a balls, roughly the size of a tennis ball and baked on a sheet pan.

Michael K is a National Treasure, that being said his site is often riddled with malware and Google tells me to stay away.

Plain steamed or baked pumpkin when the dog needs fiber.

Oh I am. I’ve still got a toehold in the Middle Class and I’m voting against the motherfuckers above and their brownshirts below me.

On the other hand, the receipt checkers at Sam’s Club are there to make you as miserable as they are.

You mean all those times I was buying cases of brisket when Sysco was late I was a.... civilian?

Rice pudding would like a word with you.

Three pescado and one cochinita pibil, $4 USD

I wish you good fortune in this endeavor, but as the survivor of numerous purges over the past 15 years I have little faith in it.

So this was the middle 80’s. I’m drifting from job to job and burning through a lot of landlords. I’m semi-fabulous and on every guest list in town. My cocaine habit is pretty expensive and I’m adding more and more heroin to chase a bigger high, but pretty sure I can stop anytime.

Now tell me how I can rid myself of the recurring dream where I can’t find my locker or remember the combination. 

I spent roughly four hours trying as many different tamales as I could stomach at Xcaret yesterday. They had vendors from all over Mexico.

Does this concept include hitting her with a tube sock full of oranges or wet sand until she comes to these realizations?

Why NBC continues to burn money on Megyn Kelly is beyond me. Who buys ads in her time slot?

And we can’t have that. 

In the old days we had this one solved. You lost their phone number and never sent them a Christmas card again.

You’ve just redefined Cohousing.

Trump is claiming that he desperately wants to hear the audio (and see the video, if it exists)