Being childless myself, I naturally feel entitled to dispense sage advice on childrearing. I confess, until recently, I was one of those “tut tut”ers when I saw a child buried in a tablet at a restaurant.

This thread is full of parents after my own heart, thanks for making me feel like less of a freak.

I have one rule about messy kids in my restaurant: if the parents offer to clean it up, I wouldn’t dream of letting them; if the parents assume it’s the staff’s job to clean up after them, I lean the spot sweep on the edge of their table when they ask for the bill.

I have the same ages, two boys. Whenever I read articles about screen time I roll my fucking eyes. Dear everyone, this iPhone is the only reason my toddler is sitting in absolute silence because I promise you it never happens otherwise.

‘lovingly misplace their respective shit’

Fable was...decent. On launch on the original Xbox it was riddled with bugs and didn’t include half of the features he promised to include at the time. No, I can’t recall them all, it was 8...9 years ago? All successive Fable titles have also launched with an absurd amount of bugs, some of which were progression…

Not an allergy request but a ridiculous coffee request. At one cafe where I used to work, we kept the milk and cream behind the counter and would pour it in for the customer ourselves unless they asked to do it. One woman asked for me to make her coffee “about your color.” Because I’m neither coffee nor milk, I have…

I had a woman request a new glass of ice water, because, and I can’t make this up, “her ice water was watered down.”

I wouldn’t say it’s “class-act” as much as “a good way to make money,” but yeah, it’ll be cool to see what the new guides look like.

Not 100% sure if I know how to pronounce that word correctly. Fortunately, it’s generally not a problem, since I usually just refer to it as “that awful shit that crazy people seem to love for some reason.”

That would be nice of you. But do you see why it shouldn’t be the responsibility of Japanese people running a Japanese restaurant to explain to white people that they aren’t the same as Chinese people?

The international breakfast is a half-waffle

You know, I’d give the college girls a break. Do you know which part of the country they were from or how much Asian food they have been exposed to? They may not have known what to order, but at least they were, apparently, stepping out of their comfort zone to some extent. This is why I hate trying new foods without…

Guess he was really craving a McKnuckle Sandwich.

Guess he was really craving a McKnuckle Sandwich.

A moose ate him.

Once, an 8-top of Christians left one of those “Here’s a Tip for You!” pamphlets on my table, in lieu of a cash tip. I was sort of used to this, so I didn’t remark much, just tossed it into the bus tub with the rest of the debris, and a glower.

Thank you BCO! As a single mom of a rambunctious 2 year old I know that 1) she’s just going to be an asshole in restaurants. period. and 2) the only way she’ll learn not to be an asshole in restaurants is if I take her to eat out and teach her the rules. I order her food first, bring my own sippy cup with milk so she…

I’m a little late but here goes. I worked in a Gay Dennys in Arizona and soon after gay marriage became legal, I had the most adorable elderly couple of men, one white, one black. They were seated at the counter and had on these beautiful leis. I asked if I could feel the real flowers and asked what the occasion was.…

Way back when I ordered a chicken pot pie at KFC and when I got home it felt kind of light when I pulled it out of the bag. Sure enough it was crust only... no filling. Got in the car, took it back, and the guy at the counter just said “musta been Sean.” A new pot pie with filling was provided.