There’s no “finding out” what replaces them! We have to do the big “help me choose” column next. That’s next week!!!

Will there ever be a time when people install field turf for their lawns?

But if you’re looking for a dark horse in that race, I would strongly urge you to consider Vanderbilt. Imagine the most obnoxious school in the most obnoxious conference in college sports becoming the most obnoxious powerhouse in that conference.

Malia would also be a legacy at Harvard, just like her father was.

E-mailer of the week: You, your wife and your daughter are better off without that other family in your lives. You have bent so over backwards that you are farting on your own head. Move on, and if the other mother caves first and attempts a reconciliation, suggest the concert again and tell her to pay.

Duke football fans probably wouldn’t become ridiculously outrageous. There’s just not enough of them and not enough people in Raleigh would bandwagon them. The football team is actually pretty good now and nobody shows up to the games anyways.

I was at the grocery store looking through the strawberries trying to find the best package with no fucked up ones at the bottom. All of a sudden this woman says..this one looks good, and hands me the plastic carton. I look up, and she was way hot, completely out of my league. She hands it to me, smiles and walks…

If a college football coach told Gary Danielson that the sky on Sunday would be yellow, Gary would enthusiastically tell everyone on the broadcast. The man is only capable of conveying coaches’ talking points.

No Rae Carruth for WR 18-24?

That American Girl mom sounds like a load of fun. No chance that kid grows up to be a huge pain in the ass. None.

This Verne Lundquist hagiography makes me miss Keith Jackson. Whoa, Nelly!

Man, not even listing a punter on the All-Party team has to be the most passive-aggressive dig at Kluwe Raysism in the history of Kinja.

How did Pete Stoyanovich not get the nod at Kicker? He was drunk in an IHOP back when he was still the kicker with the Dolphins and the cops actually drove him home so he would avoid any trouble. When they left, He decided to drive back to IHOP, just to say, “See, I’m not that drunk!” Needless to say, he was arrested…

Insufferable underdog->powerhouse? It’s gotta be Northwestern. There is nothing worse than listening to Mike Green jack off over a Northwestern win. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. No wait. Where did Colin Cowherd go to school? Oh, never mind.

Worked for me. Watching Netflix is pretty much the only thing that my wife is able to do now considering how hands-free it is. Our three month old daughter basically demands that you walk around carrying her 90% of the time that she isn’t sleeping.

We’re still in the Daniel Tiger phase.

Unfortunately, you just start binging a whole new type of show (and completely destroy your carefully curated suggestions with the first episode of Octonaunts).

Netflix:Are you still watching?

Bob Saget is slowly morphing into Danny Devito.

With her money she better not be getting a welfare cheque!