Let me tell you a long, sad story about the youngest MVP in league history...

because he’s like 25 and his injury wasn’t that serious.

It will just make it all the more delicious when England lose on purpose and then get taken out by Columbia in the Round of 16.

Everyone’s just gonna keep pushing “fraud” for the next two weeks, huh? 

Nice of El Tri to loan green(ish) jerseys to Germany so that they could shit the bed worse.

Probably too busy trying to find some boring, obscure music to put over it.

The other team was very upset about the foreign substance on the ball.

WTF is wrong with your mom

“Please, we shit our pants for four straight games”

i was playing catcher when i was 12 and i shit myself after taking a pitch to the region directly above my cup. the ball skipped off home plate into my gut and i immediately hit the brown note.

The cheating crybabies who take those laughable dives have earned all the ridicule that can possibly be heaped upon them, and more.

It’s totally irrational because I don’t know him, but I’d take a bullet for that guy. Like in the thigh. Because I mean, listen, I have kids, get off my case I’m not fucking dying for Bill Russell. But I'd definitely limp for him. 

Those are good friends. 

Yeah sure I’ll cry in the office first thing Monday morning. Sounds good.

“Friends, sports are good.”

“I liked 0 of 27 menu options. In a row.”

Russell Wilson?

“And you TOTALLY shouldn’t call it, or text it, or sign him up for Grindr profiles.”

Why can’t Ronaldo have this as his goal scoring celebration?

Maybe the sculptor was onto something...he managed to capture his inner coolness quite well