Me too. I also have US citizenship (because I am a Canadian Anchor Baby) that I can’t see ever needing. I wish I could just give it to one of the Dreamers.

I’m starting to predict a Ceausescu style end to this administration.

Counterpoint: Diana and Dodi were killed by an out-of-control driver, not the by press.

Starred for comparing the US with Sauron. (Funny and sad because it’s true!)

No, the way to persuade someone is to be really sarcastic.

She used to claim to read all of them. Now she can’t even manage to sue one of them.

I’m starting to think he was lying when he said, “And, he referred to my hands — ‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ — I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”

I bet his constituents now have a few regrets that they confused him with Ike Barinholtz.

I think he meant to write, “my Genitals”.

U.S. District Judge Judge Nelva Gonzales Ramos is Mexican and a woman, so obviously biased against Trump. Two strikes and you’re out, says President Many Sides.

Thanks for the quote. I couldn’t bear to listen to his speech.

Every dude fight is at heart a sort of contest, but what kind of contest?

Oh plunder... that makes sense coming from Trump.

Only if he sees his name at least once in every two sentences.

Could someone please warn him not to stick his head into a giant cathedral bell while it’s ringing? Or stick his hand into molten lava? Or, I don’t know, take a bath with a toaster?

Sure, but

Update (2:40pm):

Actually, pretty much the only story I could find about someone who damaged his eye from looking at an eclipse was a guy who stared at it for about 20 seconds with his right eye on a dare in 1962.

I legit think that he assumed upon being elected president that he’d have the powers of a medieval king.