Haha, retweeting the Washington Times. Yes, folks, the President of the United States’ best line of defence against critics and possible impeachment comes from the fucking Moonies.

48.2% of American believe that 46.1% of Americans had altogether too much influence in Washington.

In Russia, they don’t have political witch hunts, just political assassinations, and sons who are never heard from again.

Wait, those are three different people?

Legend has it you could hear it from Newark. Sometimes the airplanes couldn’t hear themselves landing! True story.

Trump to his staff, later:

I will miss you here, you hear?

Your argument might have had more merit in the past when judges just held up signs with a score from 1-6, but since 2006, figure skating judging has really been quite technical and objective. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ISU_Judging_System#Protocol_details)

I thought being an asshole was kind of the point of being an alpha and asserting your dominance.

And even Fat Elvis was 1000 times more talented than 45 has ever been at anything.

Yes, and there’s another problem with this idea. Maybe it’s different where the author lives, but in my area, the dirt is in the ground, not in buckets hanging from the sky.

Juan Perón maybe? Or maybe he just oscillated without ever stopping at the middle.

The same people who will tell you that we no longer need unions because workers already have all the rights they need and unions have gotten evil, will also tell you that we no longer require a free press because we already have enough information and the MSM has gotten evil.

Welcome to Gilead! Nolite te bastardes carborundorum, bitches.

Ha ha, I tried that joke in the first article about Christie on the beach, and the ones who weren’t mad about the fat-shaming were mad about comparing him to a poor whale. I mean, they’re all right, but it’s still funny.

Christie was probably only following orders from Trump to somehow make Trump look slightly less obnoxiously corrupt by comparison. I don’t think it worked, but A for effort.

And don’t forget the great Stephen King TV movie from 1999 that was sort of a modern retelling with ... supernatural ... elements.

Also, his nose kept visibly growing.

All he really needs to do in his meeting with Putin is repeat those immortal lines from last fall’s debate: