Lmao...you win the prize for the saddest shit on the internet today...

Dazed and Confused, I think...

Martha rocks. Fuck the noise.

I have the same problem! Even when I try to preface things with "Seriously" or "I'm not kidding," most people think I am being sarcastic. It's super annoying...

What PeeWee reference?! I missed it...

I can't lie: I do love being touched in the feelings...

"Pain-capable"?? Pain-capable"?!?!?!? What the fuck does that even mean? Everybody involved in drafting that act is an idiot... Anyhoo, nice to see the Guttmacher link (yay, us!)...

Dodai, you're joking about JLo, right? That dress all kinds of hideous...if it were a mini and she had on figure skates, I wouldn't be so mad...

My brain is not understanding this. Is there pleasure involved? For the licker or lickee? I hate having to touch my eyes, so I can't imagine a tongue in there would feel good. Am I just too old for this?

oops...

I don't know why this is making me laugh so much...it's late in the day... I do love how it's everyone's instinct to kick or push him. He *is* twerkin' it, though...

Ha ha! Yes!

I started to write a long post about how horrible this article was, but then just didn't care enough. Thanks for doing it though, cuz it needed to be said...

Ack! Their clothes are horrible!

So let me see if I understand the Vena Cava/Alice + Olivia fight—Vena Cava's all, "Stop stealing what we've already stolen" and Alice + Olivia is all, "Dude, we stole it from some other place, not you!" Right? Sigh...ah, fashion...

O. M. G. It's a movie about me. Who the hell has been reading my diaries?! I wish I was joking, but if you actually did read my diaries, you would find my wedding and life plan (which included the DATE of my wedding and the BIRTH DATES of my two children, as well as a list of their possible names. For some reason I…

I can't today, Jezebel. are you trying to make me go home and sit in my closet? Again?

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So sorry, Lindy!! I'm sure that it goes without saying that a response from you of "See?" would be lost on these morons. And so many of them! I weep for humanity...

Kind of off-topic, but over the weekend I watched my first Lifetime movie in more than a decade. It was called The Trainer and holy god in heaven! What a delightful piece of trash! You know those movies where you can predict the dialogue because it's going to be the most cliche crap ever uttered/written? That's what…

Seriously! What hope do I have if they rejected Dodai?!