It is true that first birthday parties are purely for the parent. When I hosted a party for my son I was celebrating the fact that despite knowing nothing about babies beforehand, I managed to keep him alive for an entire year. That's more than I can say for my pet goldfish.

Meh. I like my approach better. Get unexpectedly pregnant. Get married at a courthouse with your illegitimate little spawn in attendance. Take a picture of the three of you together as you eat a BBQ dinner later that evening. No fuss, no muss. No theme.

That's good to know. I tried to look it up to see if it was a gesture that was understood and used in Japan but I couldn't get a clear answer.

Nice.

Aw. This is sad...no more velour.

No, no Beyoncé. You are too tight-lipped to spill the real tea and Seinfeld already covered the "Show About Nothing" trope.

Am I being graded on my silly posts, teacher?

Voiceover: "E-cigs...because nothing masks the symptoms of whooping cough quite like a good ol' case of emphysema."

Does it really accomplish anything to try to impose your will on an individual whose brain isn't even close to fully formed?

In a show of solidarity the sign language interpreter should have just thrown up a middle finger (or the Japanese equivalent).

I am a mostly raw vegan pacifist martial artist.

I've only been a mother for 22 months, but the one thing I know for sure is that there are three things you absolutely can't control about your child: when they eat, sleep and shit. These are all things that are very much in the child's control and the worst part is THEY KNOW IT. You can't force them to do any of…

As an almost 33 year old, I feel no connection to anyone born in the 90s. They are lovely don't get me wrong, but they're a totally different brand of human with completely different experiences.

Having a kid rocked my world and my disposable income; now travelling seems like this far-off dream to me. I studied abroad during college (which I was only able to do because of a generous scholarship) and have been to three other countries since then. Having a baby two years ago put the brakes on all of my…

Is something going on with Wendy's makeup or was she crying a shit-ton of tears before this segment because she's looking a bit rough around her eyes. No snark. She just looks sad.

I generally try not to judge other people's kinks, but...

Intellectually I know that she is a very sick woman with mental health issues.

I read the books in my late-twenties. I put off reading them because they were kids books and also wildly popular which in my mind meant that they were crappy. They were quite good. I holed myself in my apartment and read them all in the space of two months. So worth it.

I have worked in several clinics with dozens of providers and the forms are pretty standard across the board. They ask the kid about drugs, safety at school and at home, sexual activity, birth control and STIs. They can't really cover a lot in five minutes, anyway. They just tell the kid where they can get care if…

What parents don't seem to understand is that it is extremely unlikely that there child will be honest about their sexual proclivities if their parent is staring down their fucking throat. I am a parent and a sexual health educator and I've had this conversation with more than a few parents. For the safety and…