Coming clean to my wife will effectively and immediately end our marriage. She’s strictly committed to a monogamous relationship, which I agreed to. I don’t want to hurt anybody but I know it will happen. What’s your take on all this?

Aretha didn’t even have a will. She is going to cost her family millions of dollars just because she was one of those old stubborn people who didn’t want to take advice.

If you’re talking about James Monroe Iglehart, I agree! He was so great as the Genie (and hilarious as Coriolanus Burt on Kimmy Schmidt).

I’m not sure how I feel about this. In general, I’m pretty much over Will Smith, and the scientology connection doesn’t help, but he’s usually fun in lighthearted movies like Men In Black, I’m sure he can Genie it up.

“I’d rather people get hurt than get rich” is an early leader for next year’s Worst Take of the Year award. 

Or, Maybe you load the kid up in the car and take them shopping. Teach them patence and that they will not die of bordom while shopping. Teach them to interact with the world around them, and that shoes don’t just appear on their feet.

I was just riffing on Kojima

Written by Jim Steinman! The Mozart of Epic Schlock Rock!! I mean that with love and affection. This song is one of his best.

Wow! Great idea! They should include the instructions to reheat taco shells on the box they come in or something...

It also says to do this on the box that the shells came in. I’ve never noticed any difference in how frequently they break when you heat them, but I’ve always thought the texture seems a little stale if you don’t warm them up.

Cool, another article about how nobody should use flash. I love reading these in the knowledge that I literally have no choice but to still attempt to support flash on nearly 700 PCs because of really crappy government web pages and specific software vendors that rarely keep within 10 years of current technology, but…

Joe is an office drone. Joe is miserable. Joe is unhappy. Joe is repressed. Joe is horny.

Nothing will ever beat Campfire Song Song.

And with that, the country closes its door on the largest and most increasingly-depressing sandwich chain.

Heyho, Dan! Creator of the game here :)
You’d be right about risking our Patreon if Quidget was just a normal everyday dog... However, he’s a one-of-a-kind genius wiener!
Which obviously makes him immune to any accusations of doing the naughty. All this dog does is advancing science ;)

In earnest, though, as we…

Hate to be that guy, but, shouldn't this be marked as NSFW?

I don’t know where that whole spiel came from, seemed totally counter to goo relationship advice. Which is what I thought this column was for?

Good crop.

THAT MAKOTO IS SICK HOLY SHIT

That Medusa is amazing :)