"Horsepower is how fast you hit the guest's car in front of you and torque is how far you push it."

I know exactly what happened. He hit the gas instead of the brake, therefore he can blame this on a floor mat made by Toyota and GM will then issue a recall for it.

Until they're as cold as your frigid heart, you nasty bitch!

So...like overnight then?

Until the Muslim in Chief is succesfully IMPEACHED and THROWN IN JAIL for his HIGH CRIMES and MISDERMEANERS against FREEDOM LOVING AMERUCICANS EVERYWHERE!

So, wait. How long should I freeze the numbers?

If you go Religious Studies/Theology route and have a show-biz personality and have the scruples of a used-car salesman you could always start your own megachurch yielding unlimited untraceable nontaxable income. Actually, all you need is a sufficiently large flock of unquestioning sheep and you can skip the degree…

So wait, he now has half of what he had going in? I think my ex-wife invented that trick.

I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT THE SAME THING! My husban (36) and I (33) laughed like a couple of 14 year old boys when we saw this commercial. How did this get greenlit?

He's probably just doing this for a Reaction, and by that I mean some items from Kenneth Cole's 2014 collection.

It seems like it's an English class, so she should have just done what I did in English class: get the basic framework of whatever boring ass book they made you read from CliffsNotes or Pink Monkey, and then just add a bunch of fancy sounding words to make it sound like you know or care about what the hell you're…

The worst part is you're just sitting there, trying to jerk it, but those damn robots keep marching around and falling over comically, so hard to rub one out while giggling.

I used to pass a daytime hooker every morning at the M St. (Navy Yard) station in DC. I was always amazed that she decided 6:30 a.m. was the best time to try. Never attacked by footwear though.

Every word of this is 100% true.

It's hard to imagine that, for something this important, a guy could just skate by with almost zero scrutiny. That a guy with none of the requisite qualifications could just slip through the screening process, past dozen of checks, and be allowed to wander - befuddledly - into the inner sanctum of power, interacting…