I joke with my wife that I’m going to let our son watch Deadwood. He’s going to learn the bad words eventually. By watching Deadwood, at least he will learn to speak eloquently while using them.

Yeah, in retrospect, it was hard for my mom, for sure. Our family thought she was crazy rigid, and my paternal aunt actually once gave me a Barbie at a family gathering - made my cousin give it to me in front of everyone, so there was no way my parents could say no. Looking back, that was so fucked up.

If I ever have kids, I’m not going to allow them to watch anything Disney. It’s Game of Thrones for them. Valar Morghulis, ya little monsters.

Yes, too soon, you asshats. You are not SNL. You are Marines tasked with defending the people of our country. You don’t get to try (and completely fail) to be ironic or sarcastic on social media.

What the everloving fuck is wrong with people?

Man, people in the future are gonna laugh at us so hard when they find out we call things we stand on with wheels touching the ground “hoverboards”

Unless he looks down. Gravity only applies to those looking down.

No fucking way am I watching that. This is about as close as I can comfortably get.

Ahh so that’s why the video credits identify him as “Hoverboarder No. 8"

If you think this is disturbing, you should see the outtakes.

Remember that price matching is great for stuff that is in limited supply at a single retailer.

It should be once every couple years, because people generally have multiple children, but I would settle for something equivalent to “caretaker leave” if a non-immediate family member or friend get sick.

these anti amazon articles would have a lot more weight if you couldnt find ‘kinja amazon deals of the day!!’ on the same page

UP IS DOWN BLACK IS WHITE CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD ANYMORE

If the company can't afford a $10 tip on pizza, they aren't giving out raises or bonuses.

I've never been so proud of my home town. Well parts of it at least.

I just watched the clip. Fucking awesome. Way to go, Cher. I love that she doesn't want to distract from the issue at hand and basically says, "Look, I know that I'm from Hollywood, but I'm also an American." Damn straight.

You know you done fucked up when your own mother is happy you weren't home for Thanksgiving.

You can hear the embarrassment in his voice when he says, "Oh God, it's Mom." That's how you know this is real.

Dear Moms of All Politicians Everywhere,