LeBron: “I want to go to LA. I want to go to LA when it has a team that can make it to the championship. This is my dream.”

Donald Trump: 

Thanks, my inclination was to remain blissfully unaware.  Like, I kept hearing Tailor Swift this, Tailor Swift that for a couple years I’m sure, never certain if it was a band, a brand of clothing, an actor, an actress...  Eventually, she was a guest on Letterman, and she was perfectly charming, interacted well with…

In all fairness, many of these statements were not made by Pelosi. They came from the insurance lobby ventriloquist with his hand shoved up her ass.

It’s going to be so much fun to watch Magic Johnson fuck this all up.

1. Cohen -> rat

Potential title - “What is the Color of Your Cheese?”

Fun fact: “The Touching is, To Me, Off Limits,” was the original title of MC Hammer’s 1990 breakthrough single. 

Adolf = 5 letters

“If you have a child prodigy who plays the violin amazingly, no one’s saying to them, ‘You must go to college for a year before you join the philharmonic orchestra,’” Simmons’ mother says.

This reminds me a lot of the story that goes around every Super Bowl that women are being illegally trafficked into the city where the game is being held to satisfy the allegedly voracious appetite for sex. You do a little digging and find out, every single time, that it’s bullshit; an urban legend. That’s not to say…

You want large amounts of money for doing nothing? Become a soybean farmer! 

She looks like an extra in a failed Mirror’s Edge TV pilot.

It’s easier if I just show you.  Now lay back....

It’s funny to see Mike Singletary, who actively wore a Ned Flanders sized piece of the true cross when he coached the 49ers, be so anti-Christian.

Scal caught in a Kardashian news cycle would be a hell of a saga, IMO

I’m not sure what the big deal is. I’m sure thousands of Packers owners have paid for prostitutes.

Ryan Lochte lies about being mugged in Brazil while representing our country in the Olympics. He gets touted as a survivor by the same “reporter” that Trump disclosed his sexual assault tactics to. He gets a reality show.

Jussie Smollett lies about being the victim of a hate crime and gets indicted for a felony within…

I grew up loving NBA basketball. Seeing a couple of “fixed” series like this (Suns vs Spurs, anyone?) made me drop it completely. It’s not a sport.