Like a balloon and … something bad happens.

Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.

Among its tenets is proper hyphenation of phrasal adjectives in its billion-year service contracts.

I sincerely hope that at least one snpp.com review has denunciations of the mechanical infeasibility of the Burns Ominnet.

We're through the looking glass here, people.

The Internet
It's made me reflexively paranoid

Just springboarding off the "is Abe Vigoda still alive" upthread, is Joanthan Silverman still alive?

Assuming you are not trolling, the guy on Coach who played the lunkhead assistant coach also played the slow fellow in The Stand miniseries who kept saying "M-O-O-N, that spells 'moon.'"

That's kind of like how I know how to to make a shelter out of a tauntaun!

*picks dumpster and jumps in, turns out it was the O'Neal one, bleeds to death on broken whiskey bottles*

Seconded.
*fashions own Junior FraudSquasher badge out of post-it note, excitedly shows to coworkers*

The McRib apparel will only intermittently be on sale, coming and going at seemingly arbitrary times.

I am a 34-year old man, and immediately clicked through to Kickstarter to buy the thing before I finished reading the first paragraph. Keep reinforcin' those stereotypes!

The correction at the bottom of the linked Huffpo piece is hilarious. Live by the clickbait, die by the stupidity.

*morbid theme song plays*

Shoot, I wish my below had been in response to this. Lousy googling to make sure I have a quote exactly right!

Nah, yo, it ain't like that. Look, the redshirts, man, in the game, they get capped quick. They be out the game early.

TRUE STORY: Some years ago I was hiking with my dog off-leash in LA's Runyon Canyon Park. Rick Fox came jogging up the trail at us. My dog then snapped for some reason (which she almost never does), and lunged barking at Fox. Reacting to her, Fox stumbled and nearly fell off the rim of the canyon. I grabbed her…

Imagine how much worse the basketball-duel at the end would have been if they had to edit around some stiff throwing brick after brick.

I agree completely! Please don't take my comment as sarcasm.