As a haver of many terrible opinions, this guy gives people with bad opinions a bad name.  Get off my team, dude.

At the risk of outing myself as a curmudgeonly poopy pants, I hate this time of year. I hate celebratory dinners, I hate being fed, I hate the fuss, and everyone stresses themselves out and makes everything miserable. When the grandmother of the family sat down to the table after everyone worked for hours and sighs,…

It almost emerged organically.

Just make sure you search the whole phrase "old men love coffee nips."

One of the local breweries does a line of hard seltzer.  They just announced a hopped hard seltzer.  If they added some malt flavoring, we’d be full circle.

Coffee Nips are my preferred old man candy.  Good call there.

Speaking of torque- one of my dumber moments, the paddle was pretty well wedged on our KitchenAid, and I threw my left arm over it to get a good grip on the mixer while trying to budge the paddle with my right hand.  Naturally, my left arm turned the darned thing on with my fingers well tangled into that paddle.  Whoo…

I mean, I cringe through most of his material, but on some things, he’s not wrong.

“We’re looking at speed as a way to mitigate this. When the weather is good we need to harvest faster.”

I was just listening to a comedy bit about how the only good thing about TSA security was that it made airport dropoffs so much easier.  No parking, going to the gate, sitting and waiting for an hour and waving like a goof at the plane- just pull up, kick them out, and go.

This was a great read.  I have no entertaining comment, just... wow.  Thanks for the story.

No unneccesary “’s” added?  Up here, I’m constantly assaulted by “The Aldi’s.”

I sense a joke there, but parsnips... man, parsnip mash is my jam.

Florida.  Bonus access if the dog is on Krokodil.

My wife loves it, so I’ll smoke a turkey breast for her and eat my Stove Top.  At least no family this year, so we can do a scaled down version.

I’m abstaining from voting. The only thing I like on the Thanksgiving plate is Stove Top stuffing. I usually like mashed potatoes, but everyone tries to get all fancy for the holiday and loads it with cream and butter until it’s the consistency of cat vomit.  Plus, I really don’t like gravy, and invariably someone…

Eh, especially if they’re selling kitchen goods that might last a while, it’s only a matter of time before they turn into leggings-Amway, haircare-Amway, skincare-Amway, “no chemical” cleaning product-Amway shilling vampires. I don’t need friends that try to suck people into scams.

We had to drive a Travel Amway cult member five hours somewhere once.  She kept on trying to hint around any upcoming vacations/trips.  Every time I snipped right away “I hate travel, I hate vacations, I’m not going anyplace.”

“I don’t do fucking Amway” usually works.  (I’m usually pretty polite, but this scammy crap really pisses me off).

My pet peeve is the Instagram Boomerang glasses clink. Also, hanging a beer can off of the glass by the tab. I follow a lot of beer accounts, and hate both of those with a fiery passion.