She’s one of these actresses who is completely radiant in her native tongue but super-stilted and scenery-munchy and terrible when she tries to speak American.

“She goes, ‘Listen to me, you’re going to regret this for the rest of your life if you don’t take this gift and just live in the moment.”

Literally every time I think about them getting married alone under Niagara Falls, I get chills. Like right now. Or when they find out they’re pregnant in the ER. I love them so much it’s probably kind of unhealthy tbh.

who among us doesn’t weep every time he kisses her at casino night... or tells her he’s in love with her... or proposes in the rain at the gas station?

Last week a bunch of pro forced birth dipshits showed up in a residential neighborhood I go through on the way to work to picket the house of the PP president. But she had moved and the dummies protesting just ended up frightening the young family who had bought the house. Dude tried to hand me some flier through the…

My roommate and I took some really goofy pictures of barricading ourselves inside our apartment after I was mugged at gunpoint and my keys and license with my address were stolen. Lots of people deal with trauma through humor.

in case the story is “damaging,”

I did my research and I encourage everyone else to as well.

That’s generally how I try to hire people. I can easily train them in the skills required for the job. I can’t train them not to be idiots and assholes.

I hate the ocean. It’s for tools!

So much empty skin around such a small face

He’s white like yogurt and his last name’s Cheban. I will call him Chebani.

She’s over 35 years of age and a natural born citizen. That’s all it takes.

You mean by being female and qualified?

and I have learned that when I’ve spoken in anger, I usually regret the way I express myself. So I’ve been waiting to feel less angry. And when I’m ready, I’ll say what I have to say.

Huh. Probably shouldn’t have signed that bill making it harder for people with mental illness to purchase a gun.

Apparently, Muslims never suffer from mental health issues. When we do something bad, it’s entirely of our own volition. When a white person does something bad, it’s a defect in that otherwise pristine, gorgeous brain of theirs.

Oh, they do the training already. The problem is that the training is CYA. If there is a problem, they can say, “as a company, we are demonstrably against this. It was a rogue employee.” Then it is up to the plaintiff to prove a pattern or other actions by the company.

What the fuck? How about just stopping harassment?