Oo, Emperor! And that Exodus album sounded better than Bonded By Blood ever did, so it had that going for it. I dunno, I'd say these two terrible weeks finished out in style.

dates are the worst

Hey, I was alive during the Civil War and I'm telling you that teenager in the red suit wouldn't shut UP about all the wads he was shooting.

But my precious upvotes! I will never be able to face my father in Valhalla without my upvotes

we're all gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I saw this movie with my brother and we were stuck in the front goddamn row and we were still kinda wiped out at the end. I'm sure I would find it crazy schmaltzy now, but at the time it hit us pretty hard.

I like this movie okay, but the enthusiastic-to-hyperbolic praise around it was always a little baffling to me. It was like Punisher: Warzone all over again.

"Hey guys, wanna go out to old man Kowalski's place and, murder his family?"

Well he's got a fucked-up mom, which is a good start on a fucked-up family.

Area maps are like that. (see also, election results)

Boy, was I miserable in 1997. Still burnt from a breakup that was so long ago and still hurting so bad I thought I was losing my goddamn mind, there's no good reason for something like that to linger that long. I was in what I ruefully look back on as my Tori Amos phase; metal music that I much knew about at the time…

Friends had to be the only show that, on a weekly basis, we'd have friends over for to watch as a group. I don't remember doing that with any other show. And that was NBC! Do people even do that now? Go to the house of the one guy with HBO?

Look, the deal was, we'd stuff Pat in the memory hole and you wouldn't remind us that this was apparently popular enough to get a movie. We kept up our end, Soloway!

Look, if diversity is a series of tubes it's clearly not going to fly in this age of wi-fi.

New motto: "Evil! Have you tried it?"

I played Until Dawn twice in a row. First time killed everybody except for a pathetically Ross-and-Rachel type couple - second time I tried to save everybody but still managed to kill the Ross, which I didn't feel too bad about because fuck Ross

LET HALF THE BODY HIT THE FLOOR

The soda jerk works at Chock Fulla Peril.

Tell me more about the old-timey soda jerk.

Rife may or may not be joking about the beer cans, but it's totally plausible that that's all it takes to not get a G rating.