Those narrow-set eyes. Him, Daniel Holtzclaw, George Zimmerman...all look alike. Coincidence?

His face is enough to give anyone nightmares. Those poor kids. Damn it.

Yes, and it smelled like a Health Code violation.

Supreme Court Justices.

My relative, for one. She was on food stamps when her husband was in prison, but now people who get them are cheats and freeloaders.

Vafanculo!

This is the problem with these people. They never recognize that they aren’t self-made. Zero humility.

She has the Runaway Bride eyes

DO IT! You have to give it some really exotic-sounding name though. Maubaretia fruit or something.

People who claim to know everything about healthy diet make me laugh, because I collected cookbooks. I had one from 1923 that stated “Children need pure white sugar every day to keep the flames of energy alive within them” and this one from about 1990:

Good god. I walked into Whole Foods one day and frantically began looking for the gas leak/sewage spill. Nope, it was DURIAN! There was a woman giving free samples. I had to try it, of course, despite the stench.

There’s a term for it: orthorexia.

RIGHT?!? It isn’t that hard.

I knew you were my people.

It is great. The perfect antidote to American reality TV. It gives me so many reasons to love the Brits.

Kids seem to like him ok.

This was invented by Charles Phoenix, one of the most delightful people on the planet, so I can go along with it. He also popularized the Astro Weenie Christmas Tree:

God is such a bastard, right?

“I do have a high level of commitment and integrity to the cause,”