It’s fucking exhausting, isn’t it?

I don’t think they’re anti-feminist any more than smoking is. They’re just something people do for an image, and they may damage your health. But that’s your business (she said, shoveling another handful of kettle corn into her maw).

I take my mom to the podiatrist. The waiting room is full of women with all these horrible shoe-related foot issues. Have only ever seen one man in there.

Jesus, everything. I can barely pull together an acceptable representation of femininity if I have to, but am generally just an androgynous blob.

Yes, since the prime qualifications are spewing forth a rainbow of ill-formed opinions on every possible topic, she will be perfect.

People in their 20s can be shallow and self-centered? Shocked, I’m shocked.

Silly you for not knowing that confusing hashtag was confusing.

Can you pull the curtains all the way closed on your way back? That little crack of light is bothering me. Thanks, that’s better.

Oh good. Glad to be of service to an asshole parent! You are the actual worst, you cheeeeee denier! Try not to get the sippy cup color wrong, willya?

If you want to do something to help, Direct Relief is already on the case.

I saw “Unbearable Lightness of Being” sitting in the same row with nuns. I was like to die.

I worked at a movie theater and I was always amazed at what parents would let kids see. I was even more amazed that 90% of them who wanted to take their kids to R-rated movies were totally fine with ultraviolence, but not sex. Blow people to smithereens? Cut their skin off with a razor? FINE! Nude scene? NO WAY.

I know she’s past this stage, but some of her demands made me think of these cranky toddlers. I hope this makes you laugh.

You can be honest. You can say, “You know, he had a really hard week, and that sucked for both of us.” People who aren’t total assholes will understand that you’ve got it rough. The people who want you, or him, to just put on a happy, brave face can go away (and that’s me editing myself to be much nicer than what I…

I wouldn’t try to make him wrong in this situation. I think the more realistic point of view is “Well, at least now I have a better picture of how ready I am.”

Even spellcheck would be an improvement.

Anal sex is like legal representation. Everyone pretends like they don’t want it, but when they have a need, they change their tune.

Tortuguero, Costa Rica. The locals are chill, there’s a laid-back Caribbean vibe, and lots of wildlife to look at...toucans, sea turtles...http://www.tortugueroinfo.com/tortuguero/tor…

Good. Ironically, the most insufferable people are usually those who have a true belief in their own greatness (excepting people like Serena Williams, because when you’re a champion, you are by definition pretty great).

Tell it Leslie