I was hoping the captain of the next team to play would refuse to leave the dressing-room, leading to a beer-soaked, Aussie riot.

Afroduck fled to Canada thereafter, leaving his pregnant wife behind.

"What are you gonna do tonight, Stef?"

Billy, I hate to nitpick, but I have a problem with the headline. The phrase "insane, masturbatory rampage" should be "insane masturbatory rampage." You shouldn't use a comma when the last adjective outranks its predecessor and is an integral part of the noun phrase. In this case, the rampage is not both insane…

"Wow. What an untouchable Greek."

"That was some bad molly." actually sounds to me like that was the best molly.

Wow, that girl is unbelievable!

Is anyone really surprised that FSU girls have gotten really good at avoiding football players?

So you really are head and shoulders the worst guy here, Tom.

I hope they do this to Kobe later just to see him go for a furious 42 point night on 17-48 shooting.

Isn't it kinda racist to imply that all these people are from the ghetto or something? Shouldn't we just say they are friends from when they were kids rather than child "hood" friends?

Michael Beasley: High, School Friend

Friend was a waitress years ago at his Chicago steakhouse. "Coach" was eating in-house one night with a group of male friends and although she was two weeks new and hadn't met him yet, she got the call to wait on his table. She grew up in Schaumburg and loved Ditka.

This isn't so much a story, but the man spent most of last football season wearing glasses with scotch tape on them. COME ON MAN

If you can find the video that went with this story it is a classic. Video was removed from youtube and I haven't found it anywhere else.

All I can think of is the SNL one with "whose kids are these?" and Ditka is in the backseat along with them.

doesn't swallow...

swallows...

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