tylwythtegs
Marceline's T-shirt
tylwythtegs

Well it would but I've been off the market since my all time career high of Bar Night Wins.

Maybe I should clarify that reggae night at this pub had a $1 Red Stripe special every Tuesday. It also had a back patio that didn't discriminate what you were smoking. You can get real into reggae after 5 Red Stripes. HOORAY BEER!

Let me guess...

I had a guy ask me out on a date over fb instant message. He was cute and I'd met him a few times so I said sure. He met me at the bar and walked right up to me. I smiled until he asked me, "Hey, where's Dani?". He had confused my name with my roommate's name, which is only different by a couple letters. He thought he

I don't know. It depends ... are you serious?

What's his number. I will talk about DM all day.

That is such a shitty story. Do you want me to egg his car? I'll egg his car for you.

I once ran into a one-night-stand dude a few months later at a bar. I didn't want to sleep with him again, but I didn't want to be rude, so I made some smalltalk with him before heading home for the night. The next morning, I woke up to this hilarious/disturbing string of texts:

Not an idiot just a human being!

I think you probably bailed too soon, but I can understand being nervous and freezing.

"I reemerge from the bathroom naked and carry my piss soaked clothes and proceed to run crying down several alleys and side streets till I get to my apartment."

In college, I went to school in a small coastal vacation town in Maine. The first summer I stayed to work over break, I worked two jobs, one as first mate on a research vessel and in the evenings I was hawking jewelry at a tourist shop. One night, after a 14-hour day between logistics and loading on the boat and

I am the monster in this story. I was interning in the summer between my junior and senior years of college in the Washington, D.C. area. A buddy and I went out in Georgetown after an evening spent slamming shots and playing liquor pong.
It should be said here that I have never been good at the bar scene. I spent every

You win, that is truly awful.

Back in the day this guy from work (Lets call him Jon**) and I sorta had a "thing." We were in a leadership program together and lived states apart only seeing each other everyone couple months for training. We talked on the phone literally every day and feelings started to develop. As the holidays started

If I were you, I would embrace being unattractive. It can be so freeing! You don't need to worry about dating, whether a guy thinks you're cute, aging, etc etc. Our culture is so obsessed with sex and beauty but it's not the way life has to (or should) be.

Although there are several stories to share, this is one of my most embarrassing dates. Looking back on the circumstances, I fully blame myself and can't believe how I managed to pull this off.

Back in my single days:

I was in my hometown for a drinking holiday (Seriously. College students just made it up and it's become this weird event where people come from all over the state to drink green beer) with two friends and my boyfriend at the time. We were drinking at a bar in which my father is part owner, and the parents were there

I was meeting my boyfriend's sister for the first time. We were going to go out to dinner in a big group and then out to a bar. The restaurant we went to was BYOB so I brought a bottle of wine to share with the table. Only everyone else decided to drink the beer they had brought and so OBVIOUSLY I ended up drinking an