[HBO CEO of Tits looks up from lines of coke as topless PA reads the article to him]

You can sell that on Craigslist no problem.

And what's the deal with anti-pasta? Who doesn't like pasta?

Does your sister speak German? If not send the kid some Nietsche in the original German for his next birthday.

"Clark, I saw on the news you saved a school bus full of kindergarteners from burning alive in agony. You make me sick, son. Go to your room!"

The guy looking for runaways? So he plays a sex trafficker?

Obviously Trump's answer would be to nuke the US from orbit.

Progro Kisgay throws down a smoke bomb and flees back to the Kremlin.

If he wants to be in the restaurant biz he'd probably get a lot better ROI with no work just putting the money into Yum! Brands and McDonald's stocks. Who the fuck is this guy's financial advisor!?

Good first step, but to really infuriate the white supremacists they all need to be melted down and recast as statues of Obama.

Don't forget to stop by the gift shop and pick up a book made of faux human skin!

George Peppard also shows up credited as "Rubble Filled Street Skeleton #3."

I thought Black Phillip turned it from a horror movie into a wacky comedy about a talking goat!

They should make it a sequel and call it Nosfera2.

Pass a Voight-Kampff Test and then we'll talk.

Yeah there's no way the founder and editor in chief of the site would have any influence over it whatsoever.

You mean the Trump administration hasn't taught us that it's possible for the man at the top to be a unrepentant sociopathic liar but for everyone working for him to be completely above board straight shooters?

Not really and it's run by a known plagiarist and paid schill for lobbyists, Ben Domenech. He was fired after 3 (!) days from his job as a blogger for the Washington Post in 2006 where in that tiny amount of time he managed to post multiple stories plagiarized from elsewhere. Then in 2013 his stories were yanked from…

Current headlines on The Federalist:

Well he couldn't be a Republican today then as they'd never stand for anyone that supported research.