Despite my loathing of Goldsman work I'm gonna go ahead and say that was probably Joel Schumacher's idea.

From the reviews I've read of The Dark Tower it seems like the main rule is don't hand off writing duties to a fucking hack like Akiva Goldsman with no knowledge of the source material who thinks research is skimming the Wikipedia page in 5 minutes.

"Polish that turd, boys."
- Starz exec to Divergent show runners

It's true and a real Catch-22 for her as she also loves receiving oral sex.

Well he was the Zodiac Killer, so, yeah, probably.

I can't wait for the sequel And Then They Killed My Dog with a guest appearance of John Wick.

You think he'd tell her something useful like, "Hey, that Littlefinger guy you've been palling around with was the one that betrayed our father and pretty much got this whole shit show rolling. You should leave the grove right now, get a bunch of guards, and immediately have him executed."

She should use some of that money she's made to have her arms transplanted with virile young baboon arms. Then she can really terrify her interns by crushing coconuts with her bare hands.

At least you'll get benefits while working at Starbucks full time.

That's a nice picnic table cloth Wintour is wearing. Do they make it for people?

"What do you mean I'm not covered for being sued for starting a brain washed sex cult of underage girls!? What kind of useless insurance is this!?"

At least now we know who designed that "My favorite color is Hitler" bag from last week.

My firm handles some cases for Lloyd's and their policies for celebrities and athletes are usually very specific to each person's "foibles" and generally involve insanely high premiums. Basically Lloyd's is a giant gambling operation where they're betting that the celebrity will not engage in the BS they're known for.…

I assume that movie would be called The Trump Tower.

At least you had the benefit of not having to be in pain and listening to Incubus..

One of the assholes from Incubus nailed me in the head with a full bottle of water at Lollapalooza in 2002. It really fucking hurt.

Lack of access to toilet paper I assume.

She'll also testify Luke played sadistic mind games on Kesha like forcing her to stay in the studio for 3 days straight trying to make her find a word that rhymed with orange.

Well my CRISPR is supposed to be delivered later this week. I assume it won't take me more than a month to genetically engineer 6 winged chickens so I'll have this problem licked and be rich by the end of the year.

Can we give a shoutout to her abs? She looks like she starts every morning with a couple hundred crunches.