Vice had an excerpt on its site last week that made me put the book on my Amazon queue. It's a pretty horrifying section about a sniper talking about how broken up she was the first time she shot a man and then shortly thereafter marching past a building for wounded and dying Soviet soldiers that the Nazis had torched…

I wish climate change deniers would apply their logic to other areas of their life. A cancer diagnosis for instance. Your doctor tells you that you have cancer but it's survivable if you start treatment immediately? Fuck him. Just keep going to doctors till you find one that says you don't have cancer even if you have…

I can see that. I'm glad all my friends are married and I don't have to go to any more strip clubs for bachelor parties. I'd usually make it maybe half an hour till I spent the rest of the night drinking in the parking lot since since strip clubs are basically like having to interact with a bunch of topless homeless…

Well having seen an episode of that HBO show I can certainly believe you wouldn't want one those prostitutes.

Maybe it's because of the way the show seems to go out of the way to make her as unattractive as possible but I for some reason find Yara incredibly attractive.

Iron Man IV will be 8 hours and deal with Tony Stark on trial after Pepper Potts and her male friend turn up brutally stabbed to death.

Probably but he was definitely more of a gentle satire of Tolkein. Martin certainly doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would waste a minute of worry on his fake languages not being very practical or logical.

The only thing he seems interested in finishing is a large taco platter and a nap.

I was very disappointed that when Arya said "Nymeria!?" that the wolf didn't respond in Gilbert Godfrey's voice, "That's right! And I've learned to talk! So how're the folks, they always seemed like nice people?'

Yes. Serious.

"I don't care that I didn't murder my wife!"

Is it one of those giant novelty checks but the amount is only for like $10?

So this story ends with the whole family going to a gay bathhouse?

There's a running joke on The Lefovers that Theroux is extremely well endowed.

And somewhere Billy Zane begins crying for reasons he can't explain.

Batman's good at stretching things out.
- Dick Grayson

Batman seems like he would have a much smaller dick than Theroux.

The Phantom 2!? He's taking over from Billy Zane!?

I'm calling it now. It ends with Shane waking up next to Lori in the New England bed and breakfast they've been running for the past decade.

I would've rather had a new Todd Solondz trailer depressing the ever loving shit out of us.